Farewell Sandwich

I have some pictures of sandwiches and stories that belong to them, but I can't find the cord that plugs in my pictures-machine to my blogs-machine, so I had to use this picture from the internet. It's apparently called "Ladyboy Sandwich: Susan and her new friends." Susan, what are you doing? Susan, you've got to put a stop to this! You don't even really look happy!

(There are boobs in this picture.)

Today was my last day at work and we had a big lunch from some Cuban place, and everyone got those Cuban sandwiches with ham, but they got me a veggie sandwich because some people in this town actually care.

The sandwich had tomatoes and portabellos and peppers and zucchini and some kind of sauce. It was good, but it was kind of soggy, but I still ate all of it and also a bunch of soggy french fries and then I felt really really sick. Even just thinking about it again, I sort of want to throw up and die. Because a sandwich is like a hand gun: it can be your best friend or your worst enemy. I guess I've always known that.

Something to Think About

Is a burrito a sandwich? According to a Massachusetts court in 2006, the answer is no. Cambridge chef Chris Schlesinger testified in an affidavit: "I know of no chef or culinary historian who would call a burrito a sandwich. Indeed, the notion would be absurd to any credible chef or culinary historian."

So there you have it. If you would like to read a judge explain in ten pages what I just told you, check out White City Shopping Ctr., LP v. PR Rests., LLC (21 Mass. L. Rep. 565). This question was also the basis of my grade for first year contracts, so yeah, I'm learning a lot.

Sunday Morning Bagel

This morning's bagel sandwich was a triumph. I was feeling pretty decadent, so today I decided to pick up a bagel sandwich from Barney Greengrass, the Sturgeon King.


Barney Greengrass is always a madhouse on weekend mornings, and today was no different. Screaming people everywhere. Come on, guys. It's just brunch. But whatever. Luckily for me, there was no line at the deli counter so I got my nova, onion, and tomato with scallion cream cheese on an everything bagel pretty quickly. A short walk home and some careful redistribution of ingredients later (I like my cream cheese to be on both sides of the sandwich, which almost no deli ever does (what the f, delis, everyone likes their cream cheese on both sides), and I only like a thin layer of nova, so I saved some for later. Also I put a touch of salt on the tomato before putting it all back together, because I always forget not to order tomatoes in the winter when they're totally mealy and flavorless.) and I ate like a king. And I felt like one too, cause much to my surprise, this sandwich cost nearly 15 bones. You got me, Greengrass. You really got me.

Esquire Ranks Best Sandwiches In America

List includes:

LA:
Canter's - Monte Cristo
Las Nueva - Torta de Milanesa

NYC:
'Ino - Sweet Coppa with Hot Peppers and Rucola
Bouchon Bakery - Tuna Nicoise
Katz's - Pastrami on Rye
Momofuku Ssam - Three-Terrine Banh Mi
Sal, Kris, and Charlie Deli (Queens) - The Bomb

AND the Reggie Deluxe from the Farmers' Market in Portland, OR.

The list also includes the Chicken Sandwich from Chick-Fil-A, and the McRib from McDonalds. I don't know, Esquire.

For the complete list, go here.

Breakfast Sandwiches

Today I am mixing things up a bit and having a breakfast sandwich for lunch, specifically the onion frittata sandwich with roasted tomatoes and cheddar on ciabatta from 'wichcraft. It is very good. I should point out that the structural integrity of this 'wichcraft sandwich compared to the last one I had is remarkably better, even considering the impressive heft (this sandwich is pretty big). Also, the onion frittata element is pleasantly reminiscent of the onion frittata served for brunch by HUDS, only better, and without mushrooms. 'wichcraft, you've won me over again. How do you guys feel about breakfast sandwiches being served all day long? I think it is the mark of a civilized society.

Veggie Joe

This is the Veggie Joe from Swingers. Let me start by admitting that this photo makes it look gross. I KNOW. But it's really delicious. It's maybe the only sandwich where I will intentionally go to a place so I can order it. It's veggie chili and soyrizo and some other bullshit. Normally, I'm not crazy about weird meat substitutes, but this is somehow crazy delicious. Even non-vegetarians have ordered this on my recommendations and really liked it.

This particular time, I fucked up and forgot to ask for it without cheddar, which doesn't add all that much. So if you're at Swingers and you want to go out on a limb and try some vegetarian sloppy joes that kind of look like barf in this picture, I recommend this.

Breaking Sandwich Disaster

Moments ago, a marinated eggplant, watercress, and chickpea puree sandwich on ciabatta disintegrated in my hands, causing a huge mess. This sandwich was developed by 'wichcraft interns, which I should have taken as a sign to avoid it. Instead, I gave the kids a chance. Big mistake.

Mini Grilled Caprese Sandwiches

Here's something you could eat if you felt like it.

BLTA

Soy bacon, lettuce, tomato, and avocado on toasted wheat. Really really good. Some haters have spoken out against the A in the BLTA. These are the kind of people who hate taking deliciousness to the next level.

Like, when Emeril is like, "Bam! Kick it up a notch!" They're all like, "Oh no, Emeril! You're kicking it up too many notches!" And Emeril's like "Fuck it, I'll kick that shit up all day long." And then something happens and Emeril blows everybody's minds. But still no one wants to buy Essence of Emeril because thats a gross name for something to put on food.

I forgot what I was talking about.