How Many Is Too Many?

As of this writing I've had egg, cheese, and spinach on multigrain for breakfast and for lunch I just finished a leftovers sandwich of shredded chicken, some kind of stinky cheese, roasted cherry tomatoes, and arugula also on multigrain. FoSB, I still have most of a loaf of that multigrain to go, and I'm showing no signs of slowing. In keeping with the Sandblog's ethos of rigorous scholarship, I'm asking you: how many sandwiches is too many sandwiches to eat in a day?

Tuna Melts

What you see pictured is just an absolutely banging Saturday afternoon. Chips? Check. Two small beers suggesting more than one cool-type person is hanging out? Double check. A perfectly griddled tuna melt? A motherfucking super check.

So tuna melts. These are kind of controversial, right? I mean, as far as the classics go. I think they're very tasty, but if you think of the elements that make them up they sound kind of gross? Anyway, this piping hot fish'n cheese was totally delicious. I didn't ask about the provenance of any of the ingredients (because that wouldn't be a laid-back, beer-drinking sort of thing to do), but I'm pretty sure the cheese was some kind of cheddar and the bread was wheat-ish and the canned tuna was canned tuna. 

Ten huge stars. But what do you think, Sandblog faithful?

Sandwich for Breakfast

The oatmeal sandwich was too much for me, but here is a breakfast sandwich WE CAN BELIEVE IN.

PB & Banana. Listen I know peanut butter is OUT right now on account of all the sickness and sadness and whoops! our peanut butter tested positive for salmonella but we're going to sell it anyway because we're the motherfucking Peanut Corporation of America and we do what we want because WE OWN THIS TOWN. But I bought this peanut butter long before the recall, so I'm fine, right? That's how safety works, right?

Unlike my last pb&b sandwich, this time I mushed it all up together, which is why this sandwich looks kind of gross. Click to enlarge or something. I swear it looks less like weird tuna salad close up. I used these two peanut butters:

Is it not cool to eat specialty peanut butters during the recession?

I don't know

I don't know what to make of Prune's oatmeal sandwich. It does seem kind of interesting. And I like oatmeal a lot. I just... I don't know, guys. Does oatmeal sort of fall in the spaghetti sando category of things that don't really need to be put on a sandwich? Help me out. Someone just tell me what to believe.

Knowledge Korner

Everyone knows that the food timeline is the most important website on the internet. That's a fact science proved a long time ago. But it's taken me this long to discover that they have a very thorough informational page about sandwiches. This page is legit. There is so much to learn on this page that I barely read it because I'm so lazy.

Particularly of note, they have a section on the Dagwood Sandwich, which might interest Danger, who goes around LA chasing a phantom Dagwood Sandwich he claims to have eaten once. It's his Moby Dick or something. (Whatever, I didn't read that either I'M SORRY.)

Anyway, this website needs more pictures and stories about actual sandwiches. Sorry everybody!

You guys, things are changing you can't stop them

The Portland Mercury blog has tipped me off to some important new sandwich language; specifically: calling a sandwich a "sando". Now, listen. I know how you guys are. And for once, I don't want to get into a long thing about the shifting nature of language vs. the righteous strength of linguistic prescriptivism. All I'm saying is, I think calling a sandwich a sando is a pretty good idea.

Here's their post post about sandos, including a photo of some spaghetti sandos.

Sandwich Assault

Breaking News Headline: Man nabbed after hitting girlfriend with sandwich

Not cool, unidentified man from Port St. Lucia, Fla. Sandwiches are for eating. And for taking pictures of and posting blogs about. That's it. (And for making ranking lists of, but that's it.)

"Police said the 19-year-old man became angry and hit the woman in the arm and face with a sandwich, knocking her glasses off."

Well, if she was wearing glasses it was sort of her fault for being a nerd.

"Police haven't said what type of sandwich was involved."

Oh, COME ON.

Link, ht: Franklin

Victory Sandwich #1

This is the first in a series of Sandwich Blog recession sandwiches, renamed "Victory Sandwiches" to keep your spirits up.

This also happens to be one of my favorite sandwiches: Peanut Butter & Banana. I added a little cinnamon and put it all on toasted wheat and let it heat up in the broiler. I used my grocery store's generic brand peanut butter ($1.50); the banana was 17¢ and I only used half of it so I still have 8.5¢ worth of banana to invest in high interest mortgages or whatever. Call me, Wall Street. We'll talk.

(As you can see, I also ate some apples with more peanut butter, because whatever, I'll throw my money around into all kinds of produce to use as vehicles for peanut butter, I don't even care.)

Sandwich Economy

Will Sandwich Blog be able to weather the faltering economy? Our advertising revenue has been reduced to zero dollars! (From a quarterly high of zero dollars.)

Nechita has it easy up in Canada. He can continue eating his solid gold sandwiches dipped in diamond au jus, but what about the rest of us? Are sandwiches really a recession-proof industry? What about all the money I have invested in various spreads and toppings? What is the bottom line here?!

Another Salad Sandwich

So I was hanging at the salad bar at the grocery store (awesome) and I got a salad that went a little something like this: mixed greens, spinach, some bean mix thing, tuna, broccoli, asparagus (what?), and probably some other stuff that I can't even remember.

Then I took it home, put some feta and Italian dressing on it, and put all that on toasted French bread with avocados, tomatoes, and eggplant hummus.

BONUS TIP: This is a good gateway sandwich for when you are trying to get a salad lady you know to transition into a sandwich-positive lifestyle.

Curried Lentil Spinach Sandwich

Danger invented this sandwich, but chose to eat it instead of blog about it. I recreated it for myself, because as usual I'm cleaning up after that guy's messes.

Took leftover curried black lentil and spinach dish (hattip: the very talented chef, NRV), added tomatoes, eggplant hummus, a little feta, and put it on toasted sourdough.

Oh, did I just blow your mind? Sorry about that.

Inside Scoop!

A few months ago, I blogged about Larchmont Wine & Cheese and their delicious, if unpredictable, sandwich line-up. Well, a former LW&C employee left a note in the comments setting me straight:

The Imp of the Perverse said...

I worked at Larchmont Wine & Cheese.

The owner's wife preps the tuna herself in the morning and can't do it every day. As for the bread, they have to order it fresh in the morning. Naturally, sometimes they run out.

Fair enough! I certainly meant no disrespect to anyone or anyone's wife, and I thank LW&C for their continued excellence in sandwicherie.

Finally, A Sandwich

Look alive, sandwich nerds, we have an honest to goodness sandwich on our hands.


Tomatoes, spinach, eggplant hummus, and avocado on toasted ciabatta. DEAL WITH IT.

Salad Sandwich

I know what you're thinking: "Salad? On a sandwich?! Well, I guess I can die because now I've seen everything."

This was the La Brea Bakery baguette Danger gave me, and if you know anything about La Brea Bakery baguettes, it's that they cost $7 and go bad in like an hour. So I had to use it fast, but I didn't have any sandwich fixings.

So imagine this: You make a salad. Romaine, spinach, "spring mix", feta, roasted red onions, and broccoli. Then you put that ON A BAGUETTE, which you've toasted in the broiler with a little olive oil.

This is what the Earl of Sandwich's bitch wife probably ate all the time.

Danger Sandwich

The other day Danger invited me over to eat some of the "free" baguette he got from La Brea Bakery. (Yes, I'm thinking what you're thinking -- he stole it.)

He made this sandwich for me, with spinach, cherry tomatoes, and sundried tomato spread. When I saw him make it, I thought the sundried tomato spread was strawberry jelly. This seemed gross to me, but Danger is a refined gentleman, and I assumed this is how they do things at the fancy sandwich clubs he frequents. Not wanting to seem provincial, I was was all in for that crazy jelly and spinach sandwich, but was pleased to discover it was actually a good thing, and not a gross thing. Danger later lamented forgetting to put apple slices on the sandwich, but we've been over this.

This sandwich gesture ensures that Danger and I will remain, for at least one more day, at a cautious stalemate.

"Paillard"

I ordered this sandwich, an Eggplant Paillard, from a restaurant called Victors Square, which apparently in the 90s was frequented by one half of hot Hollywood couple, Bradifer. HER NAME IS JENNIFER ANISTON MAYBE YOU'VE HEARD OF HER.

Anyway, "paillard" refers to a piece of meat pounded flat. The waiter quickly explained that this was not meat and no actual pounding took place in the case of this sandwich. Whatever, bro, nice paillard. As you can see it has green eggplant, red onions, avocado, and tomato, and was served on two big slices of white bread. There's no way Jenniston would have eaten that much white bread. SHE CAN'T EAT THAT MANY CARBS SHE HAS A HIT TELEVISION SHOW TO STAR IN YOU GUYS.

Also, apparently in French, "paillard" means "lewd" or "bawdy". I'll tell you what's lewd or bawdy! It's the way that praying mantis, Anjelolie loves eating BABIES PAILLARD *!



*unconfirmed.

Esquire Ranks Best Sandwiches In America

List includes:

LA:
Canter's - Monte Cristo
Las Nueva - Torta de Milanesa

NYC:
'Ino - Sweet Coppa with Hot Peppers and Rucola
Bouchon Bakery - Tuna Nicoise
Katz's - Pastrami on Rye
Momofuku Ssam - Three-Terrine Banh Mi
Sal, Kris, and Charlie Deli (Queens) - The Bomb

AND the Reggie Deluxe from the Farmers' Market in Portland, OR.

The list also includes the Chicken Sandwich from Chick-Fil-A, and the McRib from McDonalds. I don't know, Esquire.

For the complete list, go here.

Mini Grilled Caprese Sandwiches

Here's something you could eat if you felt like it.

BLTA

Soy bacon, lettuce, tomato, and avocado on toasted wheat. Really really good. Some haters have spoken out against the A in the BLTA. These are the kind of people who hate taking deliciousness to the next level.

Like, when Emeril is like, "Bam! Kick it up a notch!" They're all like, "Oh no, Emeril! You're kicking it up too many notches!" And Emeril's like "Fuck it, I'll kick that shit up all day long." And then something happens and Emeril blows everybody's minds. But still no one wants to buy Essence of Emeril because thats a gross name for something to put on food.

I forgot what I was talking about.

After School Special

I made the classic after school special combo: cheese sandwich and tomato soup. Didn't make the tomato soup, that's Campbell's tomato basil you see in that mug. The sandwich has mozzarella, parmesan, feta, and then I added some basil to that, too. That's called making your foods complement each other. Someday I'll teach you how to be that awesome.

Also, doesn't this seem like a lot of food to feed a kid after school? That kid just ate lunch, and dinner is just around the corner. Although, to be fair, my after school special growing up was a huge bowl of mint chip ice cream while watching Batman: The Animated Series.

Advantage: Strach.